It's a scary time when you first realize that it's time to consider alternate living situations for one or both of your parents. This situation can be very chaotic, and more than one family has had life-altering arguments during the process. There are ways to get through the transition more smoothly, however, and it's important to keep your wits about you.
It may be obvious to you, to your siblings, and to your mom's doctors that she needs to move into an assisted living facility, but until she feels that the time is right, it won't happen. If you try to push the situation, it's only natural that she will continue to rebel. The best thing that you can do is to be there for her if she needs you, and to have information readily available for when she is ready to talk about a move.
Talk About How You're Feeling, and Be Prepared to Listen
You're scared, and chances are that no matter how your dad is acting, he is scared, too. When humans are afraid of a new or unfamiliar situation, they tend to act out in unpredictable ways. For your dad, this might mean that he stops communicating, or he might become actively belligerent. The important thing is that you are there for him to listen to what he is trying to communicate. And if he isn't willing to communicate, let him know gently that you're there for him when he is ready.
Be the Change that You Want to See
Sure, your mom's attitude about the change is likely not that great. But arguing or expressing frustration with your mom's behavior is only likely to make the situation worse. Try to remember how it was when you were a teenager and you felt that your parents did not understand anything about your life. Treat your parents with compassion for the changes that they are facing, and don't let your frustration get the best of you.
Take Care of Yourself First
A common self-care instruction reminds you to do as the stewardesses suggest, and put your own metaphorical oxygen mask on before you help those around you. This is important at times like this when your parent is moving into an assisted care facility. You can't give him the help that he needs if you are not at your best, so make sure that you do the things that nurture you and leave you ready to take on any situation.
If your parents are ready to make the move to a senior care facility, contact someone who can help, such as professionals like ComForcare Home Care - Los Alamitos, CA. They can set up appointments for all of you to tour the facility and to learn what life is like there.Share